Healthy Teen Relationships: A Beginner-Friendly Start
Healthy Teen Relationships: the few things that matter most, and the mistakes that catch people out early.
Dating and friendships built on respect, trust, honesty and the freedom to say no, and how to recognize when a relationship is unhealthy.
Key takeaways
- Forms of teen dating violence: physical, sexual, psychological and stalking, including online
- Warning signs: controlling who you see, checking your phone, extreme jealousy, threats, pressure for sex or sexual images
- Most useful single change: Talk with teens about what a healthy relationship looks like before they start dating.
- Commonest mistake: Blaming a teen for abuse or for staying in an unhealthy relationship.
- See a doctor if any of the signs under "When to speak to a doctor" below apply to you.
Why bother
Teen dating violence, including physical, sexual, emotional and digital abuse, is common, and it is linked to depression, substance use and later abuse.
Start here
Begin here, with two things rather than ten.
- Talk with teens about what a healthy relationship looks like before they start dating
- Help teens practice saying no and respecting a partner's no
Then add these
Once the basics are in place, add these.
- Encourage teens to tell a trusted adult if something feels wrong
- Keep an eye out for sudden changes in mood, friends or phone habits
The numbers, in one place
| Measure | Figure |
|---|---|
| Forms of teen dating violence | physical, sexual, psychological and stalking, including online |
| Warning signs | controlling who you see, checking your phone, extreme jealousy, threats, pressure for sex or sexual images |
| love is respect (for teens and young adults) | call 1-866-331-9474 or text LOVEIS to 22522 |
| National Domestic Violence Hotline | 1-800-799-7233 |
| Consent | freely given, can be withdrawn at any time, and cannot be given by someone who is drunk, high or asleep |
Common early mistakes
- Blaming a teen for abuse or for staying in an unhealthy relationship
- Sending or forwarding sexual images, which can also have legal consequences
- Confronting an abusive partner directly in a way that could escalate the danger
Related topics
- Consent and Healthy Relationships: What the Evidence Actually Says (Sexual Health)
- What the Guidance Really Says About Child Mental Health (Children's Health)
- Supporting a Family Member With Addiction: Sorting the Evidence From the Noise (Substance Use and Recovery)
- Postpartum Depression: What Published Guidance Supports (Pregnancy and Postpartum)
Where to go next
- Healthy Teen Relationships: Just the Figures
- Healthy Teen Relationships: What Published Guidance Supports
- Healthy Teen Relationships — the reference entry
- Teen Health: The Complete Guide
- Teen Sleep: What Published Guidance Supports
- Sports Physicals and Teen Nutrition: What Published Guidance Supports
When to speak to a doctor
See your doctor or a school counselor if a teen shows signs of being hurt, controlled or frightened by a partner, or needs sexual health care or emergency contraception. Call 911 if anyone is in immediate danger or has been assaulted, and call or text 988 for thoughts of self-harm.
Where this comes from
- CDC — About Teen Dating Violence
- Planned Parenthood — Healthy Relationships
How this page was put together
Every figure, recommendation and warning above is taken from the guidance named in Where this comes from. Nothing on this page is inferred, summarized or generalized beyond what those bodies publish: where they give a number, it is their number, and where they are silent, so are we. Pages are rebuilt whenever the underlying record changes. Sign-off by a named clinician, where it has happened, is shown at the top of the page along with the date.
Medical disclaimer
This article is general information, not medical advice. It cannot account for your own history, medication or circumstances. Always speak to your doctor, pharmacist or another qualified health professional before making changes that affect your treatment, and never delay seeking medical advice because of something you have read here. In an emergency, call 911.
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